Pursuant to notice of December 12, 2019, moved:

That the Standing Senate Committee on Social Affairs, Science and Technology be authorized to examine and report on suicide prevention and mental health needs among Canadians, including a particular emphasis on boys and men, and the over-representation of Indigenous peoples in suicide statistics, when and if the committee is formed; and

That the committee submit its final report no later than December 31, 2020.

He said: Honourable senators, I want to start by saying that about five or six years ago my beard was jet black. It’s a sign of stress. I am so grateful to be here today to address important issues such as suicide prevention and mental health. Just a few years ago, these social issues would not have received that much of our time and interest. I want to acknowledge the steps that have already been taken and to recognize the past and present work that has been achieved regarding suicide and mental health.

Above all, I want to bring your attention to how much more work needs to be done in these crucial times. In 2016, approximately 3,000 Canadians made the decision to end their lives. Three thousand men and women felt such an amount of pain and suffering that death was a better option for them than to live among us.

In 2016, 3,000 mothers who gave life, sacrificed, cuddled, loved, protected and raised their children with all their means were shattered by news that changes the heart of a mother forever. They were told: “I’m sorry to inform you that your child is no longer with us.” In 2016, 3,000 fathers and mothers died as well from a broken heart.

The many children who have lost a parent in this way will be haunted for the rest of their lives by one question: Did mom or dad really love me if he or she chose to leave? I know that because my children are haunted by the same question. As I watch my one-year old and four-year-old who are still protected by their innocence, I know the day will come, as it did with my oldest daughter, when they will ask, “Did you think about me?”

The sad truth is that in the midst of that darkness daddy mistakenly thought everyone would be better off without him. I personally tried to commit suicide on two occasions. I’m not proud to admit that, but I’m proud to be here today to share my story. On January 18, 2016, I took matters into my own hands and tried to end my life. I had had enough of myself and of life. I felt that I hit rock bottom after years of personal and professional struggles. I felt depressed. I had no self-esteem. I felt ridiculed and was ashamed to share this with anyone. I experienced serious financial issues. I can stand here today in front of you and express that I had issues to uphold my financial obligations at that point in time.

Still, I would smile at people as best I could while telling them everything was okay. I was lying to them and to myself. Behind closed doors, I was a mess. I started self-medicating because the pain I was enduring was too much for me to handle. I would cry and self-medicate until the pain would ease. The problem was the pain was accentuating, but I didn’t know how to cope any other way. It was the only solution I had and the only solution I knew.

On that night of January 18, the last thing I remember was telling my late mom I was coming to see her. Today I try to look at the positive side of all of this. I’m 45 years old, I’m a father of six children, and I’m still here.

I made mistakes in my life and I made poor choices. I wasn’t always a good parent. I try to make better choices now and I try to be a better dad. I have hurt a lot of people with my suicide attempts. Just because I survived does not mean the battle is over. I have had to work on relationships with my children and my family members, including my brothers and my dear father. I was brought up well by my parents. I came from a close and loving family. Never in my life, never, did I think I would try to put an end to it.

But things happened. Circumstances in my life changed and I wasn’t able to deal with those problems. I have taken responsibility for my mistakes. I will continue to do so until the day I’m no longer here.

I just want to publicly thank my dad and brothers. You know, men, it’s okay to cry. It’s even healthy. But I want to thank my dad and brothers who were always there for me even though I did my best to shut them out so they wouldn’t be ashamed of me. I want to thank everyone who tried to help me. You know who you are. Please know that I appreciate and recognize your efforts, your loyalty and love.

The silver lining in all of this is that if I had not experienced those trials and tribulations, I would not be with my little son River and his beautiful mom.

I tried to commit suicide on what some call Blue Monday. Some say it is the most depressing day of the year, the third Monday of January. The third Monday in January 2016 was the worst day of my life. But let me tell you, the third Monday in January 2020 was an excellent day and I work every day to make it as such.

Today I am well, I am healthy, I am proud of myself. I love life. But most of all, I am grateful to be here and I am striving to be a better person and I know I am broken no more.

In 2016, the families and friends of the 3,000 people who committed suicide grieved the death of a loved one. Those grieving people are trying to understand why death seemed to be a better option than life. The mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of the victims were all affected by one person’s suffering. Of those 3,000 Canadians who committed suicide, 75 per cent were men. Statistics show that, in Canada, boys are three times more likely to commit suicide than girls. Some experts believe that masculinity values are a risk factor. I can’t speak for anyone else, but that was the case for me. I was taught that I had to be strong, courageous and tough, that I had to deal with my problems myself. It took 40 years for me to ask for help.

I have learned about studies that investigate how the emotions of boys and girls are perceived differently in social situations. In 2020, it is still true that emotions like fear, sadness and shame are reinforced differently in boys and girls. As gender roles are evolving, boys and men are experiencing an identity crisis. Could the need to be strong and the belief that you should fix your own problems be a factor in suicide among men and boys? Are we failing our young people by raising them to feel too ashamed to ask for help when they are suffering, which then leads them to contemplate suicide? That was certainly the case for me.

In 2016, 1,888 of the 2,939 suicide deaths in Canada involved indigenous peoples. Canada has the highest suicide rate in the world. Allow me to clarify. Inuit communities in Canada have the highest suicide rate in the world. This statistic is completely unacceptable in a country like ours.

A few weeks ago I was in Alberta to meet with secondary school students to talk about suicide and mental health. At the end of my speech, kids started lining up to shake my hand and take selfies with me. I asked myself why would young Indigenous teenagers want a picture with a senator known for his personal and professional struggles and very public humiliation? And then it hit me: They were proud to be Indigenous.

Somehow with every mistake and bad choice I made, the public struggle I went through and two suicide attempts, here I was back at work, still alive, getting involved in mental health and suicide prevention research and trying my best to reach out. They looked up to me because I resembled them. My problems may have been familiar to them. Whether it was related to substance abuse, violence or suicide attempts, when they talked to me, they knew I knew.

Shortly after I left the venue, I received two messages from two people who helped organize the event. Here are the messages I received:

Ish Niish/Hiy Hiy for coming and speaking with our young regarding Mental Wellness. FYI a student disclosed they had attempted and wanted to again but because of your talk chose to reach out. She now has a supportive group who are working with her and her family!

The second message:

Thank you Patrick. You are an inspirational speaker and such a wonderful role model. I hope to see you again. We need to continue our journey of helping people. A girl came forward after your presentation and asked for help. So grateful for that day. Thanks Again.

One of the reasons I’m sharing this is to put an emphasis on the different realities and factors that push more than 3,000 Canadians to commit suicide every year. They are not all the same and should not have a one-size-fits all approach.

Suicide among boys and men can be related to socialization around masculinity such as the shame we are trained to feel around talking about our problems. Young Indigenous people can be struggling with different issues such as low self-esteem, isolation or lack of Indigenous role models. What I’m trying to say is that we recognize the importance of addressing issues such as suicide. Programs that will be built need to be adapted to each and every Canadian.

For example, our research shows that one of the factors with Indigenous suicide was isolation. Therefore, programs aimed at Indigenous youth should include the goal of reducing isolation. It’s difficult to do when Indigenous people have been victims of colonialism and continue to be to this day. Indigenous youth are forced to relocate on small communities. Indigenous kids are taken away and put into residential schools. Kids are taken away by governments and put in non-native families to be assimilated.

Sure there were efforts by governments to fight the wrongs of the past. There was an apology and a settlement claim for those who went to residential schools, but are Indigenous peoples expected to be mentally prepared and equipped today to deal with everyday life with all the injustices and trauma they went through and continue to do so? My answer to that is a resounding no. More than ever, we need to look out and invest in our Indigenous people because many are suffering and many are broken. Many are crying out for help. Instead, we offer breadcrumbs and expect them to heal by themselves.

Absolutely no family, no individual is above or immune to issues of mental health. Whether we are privileged or poor, woman or man, gay or straight or trans, or no matter our race or religion, everyone can be susceptible to mental health challenges. Vulnerability is not something anyone can buy their way out of.

As parliamentarians, we have the most important role to play and that is to look out for our most vulnerable citizens. Are we doing that?

That is why, colleagues, I’m doing what I couldn’t do years ago and that is to ask for your help. I’m reaching out to you asking for your help because I need it and I cannot do it alone.

Enough with the shame, the hurt, the low self-esteem. Enough with the fear of being ridiculed. So in the name of all who are suffering or who have suffered or have passed on, I’m asking for help to undertake this study to bring the hope that people need and deserve. Meegwetch.