SENATORS’ STATEMENTS — The True Story of Santa Claus

Honourable senators, today I am pleased to present Chapter 86 of “Telling Our Story.” I’ll dedicate it to Senator Cotter.

Senators, this is the season for believing, and I fully realize that some of my previous chapters may, at times, have been difficult to believe, but they are all true — even the ones I made up.

What I am telling you today is the truth, and by the time I finish, you too will believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that Santa Claus is indeed a Newfoundlander and Labradorian.

This story started a long time ago when a lady by the name of Joy Butt of Pinsent’s Arm in Labrador married a fisherman named Christopher Legge from Turks Gut. Now, friends, it is only in Newfoundland and Labrador where you would have a Legge marry a Butt from the Arm and have the reception in the Gut, so anything is possible.

Joy and Christopher had three children. Two girls were followed by a bouncing baby boy, whom they proudly called Nicholas.

Nicholas grew up in a loving family and, at a very early age, learned the art of giving. Early on, he decided to spread his generosity around the world. In his early twenties, Nicholas became the person we now refer to as Santa Claus.

“How do we know this for sure?” you may ask.

It is because Santa Claus is very friendly, kind and generous, as all Newfoundlanders and Labradorians are known to be. He is always willing to share and bring happiness and smiles to people, especially those who are less fortunate. He works hard and is able to fulfill his duties each and every year because, like most men, he has a strong and confident woman by his side. You all refer to her as Mrs. Claus, but on the Rock, we all know her as Elizabeth Foley from Tickle Cove.

Only a Newfoundlander, in the absence of the fall of snow on Christmas Eve, could land that big red sleigh in heavy rain and thick fog, with less than 100 metres of visibility and 120 kilometres of wind. Only a Newfoundlander would have nine reindeer towing his sleigh when he may only need three to do the job. The reason for that is because Newfoundlanders and Labradorians enjoy the company of others, and Santa Claus does not want his reindeer to be lonely, especially on Christmas Eve.

And by the way, the leading reindeer, Rudolph, got his name from Nicholas’s Uncle Rudolph, who lives in the beautiful fishing community of Joe Batt’s Arm. Uncle Rudolph could take his fishing boat out on the water in the thickest of fog without as much as a compass to guide him, and he always made it back home safe and sound. All he ever did was sniff the wind, and he knew what direction to go — hence, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.

Now that I have your attention, I have a short message from Santa to share with all of you. After the big annual St. John’s Christmas Parade, I met up with Santa, and we had a wonderful cup of tea and an engaging conversation. To once again tell you the truth, he is not all that happy with some things going on here in the Senate of Canada these last few months. Here are his words to all of us:

Dear senators,

Ho ho ho.

The political environment that you all have the privilege to work in each day can be a difficult place at times as you all carry out your duties. I thank you for your service to our wonderful country of Canada. I have been watching and listening, and I have noticed from time to time some very heated debates and discussions. It worries me.

As we approach the Christmas season, I ask that you remember that kindness and treating people with respect will always win the day. Everyone you meet is carrying a load of something, whatever that may be, and it is up to us to lighten each other’s load with a kind word, a smile or a hug.

I am checking my list daily, and most of you are in good order, so you’d better watch out and you’d better be good because Santa Claus is definitely coming to town.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Ho ho ho.